I was supposed to tell you this yesterday. Of course, yesterday, I was in plaid, not pink. I’ll be better next time.

I hope my choice of font color more than makes up for this oversight.

Since I can’t properly teach you how to give great hugs today, here’s some Internet advice from someone who clearly knows what she’s doing. The cat dancer, of course.

It makes me sad that I can’t fully appreciate National Hug Day. No, it’s not because of my dating status, and it’s not because the majority of my closest friends live thousands of miles away.

Only two weeks after I joined the ranks of climbers of faux-climbers everywhere (e.g. the “crazies”), I’ve already managed to stress out my shoulder. Owing to improper stretching and a I-can-do-anything attitude, I’ve rendered myself lame, having gone so far as nearly permanently install a heating pad on my shoulder and back.

Given my love of hugs and my responsibility as a DND correspondent, I’ve done some research as to whether or not I can partake, SOMEhow, in National Hug Day. The results are grim.

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as I didn’t have enough time or wherewithal to properly record my celebration of National Chocolate Ice Cream Day (although one should imagine that my waistline has certainly indicated how appropriately I took advantage of this, and National Donut, Day), I instead decided to provide all DND readers with a different type of National Day.

Although, some might say chocolate ice cream is fairly serious.

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especially when they are HOT DOUGHNUTS NOW.

in the name of research and comparison, i headed to the Pinole Krispy Kreme after a delightful dinner at In n Out.

oh, KK (can I call you KK?), you almost blew my mind with your selection. ALMOST. Blueberry iced? Sour cream glazed? Strawberries and kreme? no no, we went traditional – glazed, HOT DOUGHNUT NOW – and semi-traditional with their “chocolate iced custard filled” selection. of course, anywhere else in the country one might name that more appropriately: Boston Kreme. Which my aunt brought me four of from … Boston.

I won’t tell you which I loved more: I only recommend that you find your way, and FAST, to the nearest donut shop. you have less than an hour to celebrate this landmark holiday!

thank you, National Donut Day, for allowing me to achieve my dream of glazed fried dough goodness. next year, I hope you precede National Running Day. My hips will thank you.

It’s also National Running Day!
It’s also National Running Day!

As the resident Runner here at DND, it is only appropriate that I barge in and rain on Martin’s parade to let you know that It’s also National Running Day!!

So lace up those Sauconys, roll out that iliotibial band, strap on that iPod shuffle, and get out there, because … It’s also National Running Day!

And if you, like me, want to combine this celebration with Martin’s, well heck: just get on a track and run laps! Multiple times! In … repeat! It’s also National Running Day!

If you are truly awesome, you will suit up like this, and then go run 26.2 miles. That means a total of one DND'r is awesome. ME.

finally, a National Day that has an origin!

letting it hang down

those crazy f’ing hippies started National Hang Out Day in 1995 to let you know that you consume too much energy by running that freaking clothes dryer of yours. you hedonists of soft, warm towels: use a clothesline!

yeah yeah, you get it. But wouldn’t you rather celebrate the other connotations of “hang out”?

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National Rubber Eraser Day is not free of controversy. There exists great indecision whether or not to celebrate this fine national holiday on the 13th or the 15th. However, given the importance of leaving the 13th open for blaming someone else, I think the 15th is as fine a day as any to give the rubber eraser its due.

I wasn’t sure, prior to this posting, if I had ever SEEN a rubber eraser before. It didn’t cross my mind that perhaps this guy was, in fact, rubber.

Also learned: a patent was filed in 1858 to make sure that a man named Hymen was officially recognized as the guy who thought to put the rubber eraser atop pencils. smart guy, that Hymen. Few could break him.

(This post is very clearly disorganized and distracted, mainly because as I was about to write it, I noted the nationwide celebrations today of “Tax Day Teabaggings,” which is already bad enough until I read the following quote from a news pundit:

If you are planning simultaneous tea bagging all around the country, you’re going to need a Dick Armey.

YES. Rubber erasers AND Dick Armey.)

I failed to post about this momentous occasion as I was too busy trying to track down all 1,500+ versions of the song. Hopefully you learned of the official International Louie Louie Day website and were able to celebrate the day in your own special way.

This sounds strangely akin to National Joe Day. Keeping that in mind, today I will not call myself Joe but instead Rachel, the name I, and then my sister, was supposed to have. I’m not sure how my mom fucked it up twice, but today I get to be the daughter she always wanted, but never had. This is for you, Mom.